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FatalLabyrinth: The Most Cynical RPG!by: At itsheart, an RPG is all about assuming the role of the hero and guidinghim to glory and victory over the forces of evil by power-leveling himuntil even the most challenging foes are unable to lay a finger onhim. Sometimes, a story gets worked into that mix, but stories are forsuckers, anyways. The bottom line is you're in it for the long haul,starting off as a shrimpy little guy struggling in his encounters withslugs and rats, and work your way up to master of sword and sorcery,cleaving your enemies in 'twain with your mighty Sword of Storms,turning aside their blows with your Dragonskin armor, and blastingthem to pieces with meteors summoned from that magic ring you found inthe Demon's Watercloset. There are a few breaks from tradition hereand there, and I'd like to call your attention to a couple of those inan old Sega Genesis game entitled Fatal Labyrinth.Like I said, plot and storylines are for chumps. In this case, it'sabout getting some Holy Goblet or something from the bad guy at thetop of this castle that just happens to sit right next to the townthat you live in. In typical RPG fashion, you set out from town withlittle more than the shirt on your back and a pocket knife forfighting off the armies of the damned.

Then, it's sink-or-swim time asyou scour the enemy's dungeons in search of better gear and monstersto slay and fill your experience meter. Pretty standard fare, really.Then there's the food.You'll need to keep yourself well-fed as you explore the titularlabyrinth. However, you only packed enough food for around ten minutesof exploration. Luckily, there's a lot of spare meat just lying aroundon the floor in the labyrinth. Here's where it gets weird,though: sure, you have to keep yourself fed, but if you eat toomuch.You die.That's right, you die. Your character does not have enoughself-control to stop eating before a nasty case of death sets in. Tomake matters worse, you can never tell how much food is in that pileof food you just found on the floor (and by the way, the fact that youfound it on the floor is of no concern), and so you may yourselfaccidentally stuffed to the point of bursting when all you wanted wasa little gnosh.

Sonic and whack-whack-whack fighting games were never my thing. The emulator runs Fatal Labyrinth (Sega's version of Nethack) well, but I don't know what-if anything-constitutes a good Genesis game. (clear and yellow) they have their own firmware downloads choose the appropriate one that matched your devices color. #12 Apr 17, 2019.

Life is indeed cruel.Speaking of death, that brings me to the next unique feature in thegame: gold.Gold itself isn't that unique when it comes to RPGs. If you're lookingto buy yourself that shiny new armor, or a fancier sword than the oneyou took from that random encounter a short while back, odds are yourtransaction is going to be gold-based. Sometimes, the designers willtry to work in their own monetary system like gil, or meseta, or whathave you, but gold is the most widely-accepted currency in the realmof fantasy. It's even used in Fatal Labyrinth, but in this case, it'sused for a slightly different purpose.

In RPGs past, you could buy newequipment and spells and such with your gold, but in this game, goldonly buys you one thing:A better tombstone.In a way, it kind of makes sense. I mean, you wouldn't expect thekeeper of this huge labyrinth to be running any shops. If he wantsmoney so bad, all he has to do is kill the offending adventurer. Thenagain, maybe some of the more intelligent monsters would open a shopto squeeze a little extra scratch out of the protagonist and linetheir monster pockets. Whatever the case, gathering gold in this gameis, let's face it, kind of pointless. A fat purse will only serve toglorify your death, and so really, the only people who'll pick up goldalong the way are pessimists.

That's why I always picked up the goldalong the way. Further complicating this utterly uncomplicatedsituation is the fact that certain bags of gold in the later levelswill actually turn out to be mimics that will attack you when get tooclose, which is quite the dilemma: do you try to pick up thatseemingly innocuous bag of gold and risk getting to your fancy grave abit earlier?No, you don't. Damn, I guess it really isn't much of a dilemma afterall.Still, I have to say that with the overeating problem and the bit withthe gold only buying nicer digs for your impending death, this game is one of the most(if not THE most) cynical RPGs out there. Heck,while they're at it, why don't they just give the game's early weaponsnames like 'puny dagger,' and 'sissy axe,' or just name them all'filler'? Why not make the game's early enemies creatures like 'noisyhorsefly,' or 'lethargic puppy'? Maybe I'll just save those for when Imake an RPG of my own.

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You'll fight only the weakest, most pitifulenemies you can think of in the early stages, and instead of gold, theonly currency in the land will be those crappy weapons you find earlyon. Want that shiny new spear? That'll cost you eight shortswords. Anew suit of armor, perhaps? Twelve rusty handaxes and three woodendaggers. Plus, instead of becoming more powerful, leveling up willonly mean that you're one step closer to death, just like in reallife. Awesome.Questions or Comments about this piece?.

You too can play Fatal Labyrinth!. Note: to play this game you'll need a Sega Genesis emulator.Want to see some morevideo game related content?Then check out Dr. Boogie's feature on:Support our sponsors!

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